What lies behind a tantrum?

A tantrum is not defiance.
Behind it lies an immature nervous system that is not yet able to regulate experienced emotions. In young children (1.5–4 years), tantrums are developmental and expected, because the child’s brain is still underdeveloped in terms of controlling impulses and frustration.

It is normal when:
– it is short-lived (5–10 minutes),
– it ends once emotions are calmed,
– the child returns to normal functioning afterward.

It is concerning when:
– it is too frequent, long-lasting, or accompanied by self-injury,
– it continues after the age of 5–6 with the same intensity,
– the child cannot calm down even with adult intervention,
– it is accompanied by regressive or externalizing behavior, followed by intense mood swings.